How and Why to Hold a Weekly Marriage Meeting

Keeping in sync with your partner

the art of marriage is really the art of keeping up to date with your partner, of staying on track with your own and each other’s life goals as they emerge, exist, and change.

Four parts:

• Appreciation (expressing gratitude to your spouse)
• Chores (making sure to-dos are getting done)
• Plan for Good Times (scheduling date nights, as well as individual and family activities)
• Problems/Challenges (addressing conflicts/issues/changes in the relationship and in life in general).

Sit side-by-side

Sit together. Berger advises against sitting across a table from each other, as that can feel confrontational, and recommends sitting side-by-side instead.

Notes during the week

Jot down notes during the week. It’s useful to jot down notes in the days leading up to meeting on things you’d like to talk about.

Medium duration

Keep the meeting to about 20-30 minutes. 20-30 minutes is long enough to cover the four stages of the meeting, but short enough to keep it focused and productive.

Not routine, but occasional chores

You don’t have to talk about chores for which you’ve already established a routine and division of duties that’s working well. Instead, discuss chores that aren’t getting done and are occasional rather than reoccurring.

One activity just by themselves

At your weekly marriage meeting, each partner should let the other know of at least one activity they’d like to do by themselves or with a friend.

Topic:

• Activities with mutual friends
• Family recreation
• Family/couple vacations
• Problems & Challenges
• Date nights