Why do people stop learning later in their lives?
Perhaps life just presented them with tougher problems than they could solve. Perhaps something inflicted a major wound on their confidence or their self-esteem. Perhaps they were pulled down by the hidden resentments and grievances that grow in adult life, sometimes so luxuriantly that, like tangled vines, they immobilize the victim.
Childhood and society plays a part in building the prisons
We build our own prisons and serve as our own jail keepers, but I’ve concluded that our parents and the society at large have a hand in building our prisons. They create roles for us – and self-images – that hold us captive for a long time.
Dealing with the past is important
The individual who is intent on self-renewal will have to deal with ghosts of the past – the memory of earlier failures, the remnants of childhood dramas and rebellions, accumulated grievances and resentments that have long outlived their cause.
Learning beyond the middle years
There’s a myth that learning is for young people. But as the proverb says, “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.” The middle years are great, great learning years. Even the years past the middle years. I took on a new job after my 76th birthday and I’m still learning.
What you actually learn in the middle years
The things you learn in maturity aren’t simple things such as acquiring information and skills. You learn not to engage in self-destructive behavior. You learn not to burn up energy in anxiety. You discover how to manage your tensions. You learn that self-pity and resentment are among the most toxic of drugs. You find that the world loves talent but pays off on character.
Spotlight effect
You come to understand that most people are neither for you nor against you; they are thinking about themselves.
There is no arriving. Just the journey.
We want to believe that there is a point at which we can feel we have arrived. We want a scoring system that tells us when we’ve piled up enough points to count ourselves successful.
If you climb a mountain
So you scramble and sweat and climb to reach what you thought was the goal. When you get to the top you stand up and look around, and chances are you feel a little empty. Maybe more than a little empty. You may wonder whether you climbed the wrong mountain.
Life is challenging
Life is an endless unfolding and, if we wish it to be, an endless process of self- discovery, an endless and unpredictable dialogue between our own potentialities and the life situations in which we find ourselves.
Ambition vs curiosity
I’m not talking about anything as narrow as ambition. After all, ambition eventually wears out and probably should. But you can keep your zest until the day you die. If I may offer you a simple maxim, “Be interested.” Everyone wants to be interesting but the vitalizing thing is to be interested. Keep a sense of curiosity. Discover new things. Care. Risk failure. Reach out.
Years of commitment vs earned comfort later
We tend to think of youth and the active middle years as the years of commitment. As you get a little older, you’re told you’ve earned the right to think about yourself. But that’s a deadly prescription!
Have something to do beyond just yourself
Self-preoccupation is a prison, as every self-absorbed person finally knows. Commitments beyond the self can get you out of prison.
Life is always a challenge
We cannot dream of a Utopia in which all arrangements are ideal and everyone is flawless. Life is tumultuous – an endless losing and regaining of balance, a continuous struggle, never an assured victory. Nothing is ever finally safe. Every important battle is fought and refought.